Happy Fourth of July, Lilly!

P.S. Photography by Laura Lee.

A few days ago someone posted a question on an e-mail list about how involved Dads are in our homeschooling lives, and I composed the following response. When I read it to Michael this morning, he told me I should put it on my blog. So here it is for you to read. I’m also going to copy the response my friend Bethany wrote for the group. She’s even more articulate than I am, and I enjoy her writing. I hope you enjoy our thoughts.

I have two thoughts to share regarding your question of homeschooling fathers.

First, if your son were to attend school, how would your husband interact with him during the time he is not at school? The answer to that question is the answer to the question of how your husband will interact with him as a homeschooler. But to answer your question more specifically, here are a few examples of how the dad in our family is involved. He does the fun experiments and activities that I have no patience to do. If six glasses need to be filled with water of various depths and then spoons clinked against them, that’s a perfect “dad” activity. The kids think it’s great and Dad’s the hero of the evening. Also, if I need an unemotional teacher, I pull Dad in. If the kids (especially the boys) have been resisting my instruction to do certain things, I turn it over to Dad. He “kneels” on them (figuratively speaking) and the boys shape up in a hurry. This is done during the evenings and weekends, of course, which makes it even more effective, since no one wants to be doing dreary schoolwork at that time. I also have regular “parent-teacher conferences” with my husband to get his advice and input on what I’m doing with the kids.

My second point is this: Break out of the mentality that homeschooling only happens with paper and pencil. Things don’t have to look like traditional school to be “school”. Anything done with Dad is schooling. If they fly a kite, hunt bugs, take a walk, wrestle, make pancakes, watch Dad change the oil, talk about magnets, read stories, do chores together or even just talk, they are learning and being schooled. In Deuteronomy the Lord tells the fathers to instruct their children when they get up in the morning and when they lay down at night. Everything you do is part of the bigger picture. So even if Dad never sits and teaches the kiddo what a verb is or how to do a math problem, he is still vitally involved in their education. When he stops by the side of the road to help a stranded motorist or when he helps someone carry heavy packages, he is teaching his sons what a real man is made of. When you’re listening to the radio and your son asks his dad why gas prices matter, that’s another schooling opportunity. When Dad teaches your son to bite his tongue and not speak every thought that crosses his head, he has learned another valuable lesson. And when Dad spills his whole bag of Reese’s Pieces into a storage box without losing his temper, the kids learn the best lesson of all.

Whether or not your children learn their core subjects at home or in a school building, their father is still involved in their schooling. So, encourage your husband to seize those moments, and realize that every activity done with your child IS school.

Oh, and one thing I really enjoy doing is to have the children tell their Dad what they learned in school. He gets to admire their work, and they get a good review. It also invites conversation between the bouncy children and their tired father.

Best wishes!
Christie

I heartily concur with what Christie said. It is true that my husband doesn’t teach grammar and writing, and rarely teaches math. But he does innumerable science experiments such as building hovercrafts, exploring areodynamics through wing design, fundamental engine theory and design, and fun chemistry experiments. And while he doesn’t teach literary analysis, he reads out loud to our children for an hour every evening, and has maintained this habit for 7 or 8 years. And he doesn’t usually teach catechism, but he does read the chapter of scripture that we will be studying in church the next week most nights at supper. And then leads discussions on what the pastor preached on Sunday afternoon. And he does a lot of the violin practice with one son, accompanying him with his guitar, although I usually cover the piano and flute practice. And he teaches the boys how to shoot guns, and tests their physical limits with bike sprints, wrestling, and push-up contests.

In our family, my husband has never been able to teach a “curriculum”. But while we walk through life, opportunities occur for teaching. One son learn to problem solve while fixing a broken vacuum cleaner. Two sons are instructed in proper painting techniques while the entryway is being spruced up. When a child is busy trying to melt his erasor against the light bulb instead of doing his math, my husband tells him how much time he lost as a child doing the same silly time-wasting maneuvers. And then holds his nose to the grindstone to get the work done in timely manner.

But more than any of those things, my husband teaches his children by the example of his godly character. When I get angry and lose my temper, he speaks kindly and gently to me. When he comes home after a long day at work, and I am nursing a baby, the house is a wreck, and a stubborn boy is lingering over his school work, he doesn’t complain or get angry. He just walks into the kitchen and starts making supper. He is forever putting his own desires behind the needs of other people. And he is patient and thoughtful in his dealings with all people, always thinking the best of everyone. His children know that Daddy is the walking example of someone who as a servant of God is a Servant of All. And they desire to emulate him. This is the sort of education that cannot be bought or planned, but it is priceless.

If your husband’s desire is to be involved in the teaching of the children, it will most assuredly happen. It may be Scripture Reading, or how to use the internet, or whatever else comes up. Your husband has certain skills and abilities that he will want his children to know. Using tools properly is rarely mentioned in curriculum, but it is a necessary part of life. If you and your husband put a priority on the time spent with their father, the education will occur while they are with him. Christie mentioned Deuteronomy’s injunction to teach in the morning, at night, and as you walk through your day. But it is important to put it as a priority in the day’s schedule. Because my husband works long days, his time with the children is in the evenings and weekends. And so my children go to bed late and get up late — so that they can spend time with their father. This cuts into “regular school” hours, but it is well worth it. And my husband spends hours with his five sons every night, even though he is physically and mentally exhausted from his 12 hour work day. But he regards it as worth the sacrifice of his free time. You just have to look at your own family schedule, and prioritize the children’s time with their father. While other activities may suffer, you will not regret the long term effects it has on the character of your children.

Bethany

You can read the Pantagraph story of what happened today on our street.

We grieve with our neighbors and wish there was more we could do to help.

Today, when all this was happening, I went to comfort Angie, and she said through her tears, “I’ve been meaning to get down to your house. We’re glad you’re back.”  I replied, “We’re glad we’re back, too.”

Last night Michael and I were sitting on the front porch, and I commented that I was surprised he was still up, since it was fairly late and he had said he was tired.  Michael replied that yes, he was tired, but he was feeling like it was ok to delay going to bed a little since he didn’t have to get up early the next morning.  I looked at him in surprise, frantically trying to remember what day it was and what the next day was, and then it dawned on me that this was the beginning of Michael’s long weekend!  Thanks to the July 4 holiday, Michael has an extra day off this week.  Of course, this had all been discussed previously, but I had failed to make the connection yesterday.  What a sweet surprise and a wonderful side benefit to being absent-minded!

So this morning Michael “slept in” until 7 a.m. (his alarm usually wakes him at 4:30 a.m.), and then he got up and made coffee.  I know that both of us would like to still be snoozing away, but noisy birds and a chirping baby girl are encouraging us to rise and greet the day.

The house is still very quiet though, since the children are all still sleeping.  Yesterday afternoon we took them to the pool, and then when we got home they played on the trampoline, so they were completely worn out by bedtime.

Speaking of a trampoline… I have to share that yesterday we were given another trampoline!  It’s worn out and used and a little rusty, but it still has life in it, so we went and disassembled it, packed it into the van, brought it home and reassembled it, and have been enjoying it very much!  Our other trampoline was damaged last fall when a few rusty spots on the legs caused them to bend, and we haven’t gotten it fixed yet.  So this was an exciting blessing for all of us.

Since this is Michael’s long weekend, I’m already making a mental list of all the things I hope we can accomplish to make our house look more like a home and less like a cardboard-box warehouse.

Oh, and I think I forgot to tell you that next Monday is Judah’s surgery to remove his appendix.  He is scheduled for the 8 a.m. slot in Peoria, which means leaving here at 5:30 a.m. to get there for prep at 6:30 a.m.  Michael will take him and they will probably spend the night there and come home Tuesday.  I will be very glad to have this all done.

Have a great weekend!

This morning Amelia was up early.  She came and crawled into bed with me, and when Lilly was ready for her morning bottle, Amelia offered to help hold the bottle.  A while later I looked over and both girls were sound asleep.  I know I’m always tempted to doze off when I’m nursing a baby, but I don’t think I’ve ever fallen asleep while holding a bottle for a baby.

The two of them snoozed for a while before Amelia woke up again and found me in the kitchen.

It sure is nice to have kids who are willing and able to help with the younger children.

These days of unpacking and sorting and arranging don’t really lend themselves to gripping blog posts.  Each day is much like the last, so it seems a bit drab to log in and say, “Hey, another day of unpacking and wondering how we accumulated so much junk.”

This morning I wrote an e-mail to Michael that I thought you might like to read.  I usually snap at my children for “reading over my shoulder” when I’m on the computer.  But I’ll give you permission to read my e-mail.  Have a great day!

I was having such a good morning, getting lots accomplished, and then I set out to do the very simple task of submitting time sheets.

After I got it all entered in (with children milling around me, getting into things, asking a gazillion questions, etc.), and I exported it to save as a Word doc… for some reason it would NOT show up in the files.  I looked and looked, re-exporting it, overwriting the file, etc.  Lilly got knocked over and screamed.  Luke was banging things with a piece of pipe.  Isaac left a hot-cocoa ring on the counter.  I was sweating, roasting hot, so frustrated, not understanding where the file could be.  I looked.  I typed in different things. I checked my spelling.  Everything.  Finally I decided to restart the computer before hollering at you for help.  Of course, the restart failed because iPhoto wouldn’t quit.  Since the restart aborted, I decided to look one more time for that blasted file.  Of course, there it was, in plain sight, sitting there listening to its iPod with its ears plugged, blissfully unaware that I had been calling and calling.  I couldn’t decide if I was happy to find it or mad that it had eluded me.  Off it went in the e-mail, whistling a happy tune, while I was swearing and kicking at it wishing it would at least realize how upset I was.

Love, Christie

Sorting stuff is painful. It’s exhausting. Yet, in some ways, it’s like losing weight. Every agonizing pound that comes off is so liberating!

I’ve been listening to the podcast Life Zero and trying to soak in some of the principles. I do not agree with everything I read there (for sure!!!), but I find that there are many valid points regarding living simply.

Yesterday I sorted through our towel collection. I filled a huge box with old ratty towels that we almost never use. Even so, it was amazingly difficult to push the box into the garage sale pile. I kept thinking of all the reasons why I needed to keep a collection of old towels. I can’t believe what a hold those towels had on me! But finally, I released my grip on the box, stepped back, and marveled at the free feeling of not having a huge pile of old towels to keep organized. I also thought about how nice it will be to have a smaller pile of towels in the bathroom that we will not have nearly as much trouble keeping tidy.

Today I worked on my kitchen utensils. I won’t even start on the agony of choosing between two spaghetti servers or multiple measuring cups. I think I need to go see my therapist before I go any further in my sorting.

Our days are filled with sorting and carrying and thinking and arranging.  We’re cleaning up dressers that have been in storage and figuring out who will have which things where.  Each day we accomplish so much, and yet each day reminds us of how MUCH more we still have to do.  It reminds me of attempting to row a boat across the ocean.  Even when you make good progress, you still have so much more to do.  Onward!

We aren’t yet up to speed with our computers and technology, but we do have internet access here at Monroe, so I will give you a quick update on the weekend.

Thursday was fraught with roadblocks.  First, as we arrived at the Monroe house, the van decided to burst a little piece in it’s engine and spew antifreeze and steam all over.  Michael left work early and came home to take care of the problem.  Amazingly, he was able to remove the cracked piece, find a replacement. and put everything back together again.  The van thirstily drank down over four gallons of water once all was said and done.  I guess it was pretty dry!

Then we went and got the trailer, but Michael couldn’t get the lights to hook up properly to the van lights, so the trailer was probably technically illegal to drive.  He decided to check at the U-Haul place and see if they could help, but they closed minutes before he arrived.  

While we were out, a friend pointed out that the back tires on the van were desperately needing to be replaced.  So we hurried and made arrangements to borrow a different truck to use with the trailer for our move, and then tried to drop the van off at Walmart for new tires.  Turns out, the tire guys couldn’t work on it until Friday morning, but they wouldn’t let us leave the van there overnight.  So we brought it back home to wait until morning.

All in all, by the time we were done running all over with pointless errands and dead ends, we were quite discouraged and couldn’t do any of the moving we wanted to do Thursday night.  The one good thing we did was we went and picked up a “new” fridge that we had found earlier in the week.  So at least that was done.

Friday morning dawned beautiful and sunny, so we got to work right away (after we dropped off the van) loading up the trailer.  The children pitched in and worked cheerfully, and Michael’s mother faithfully cared for the littlest family members to keep them from being neglected or squashed.

Back and forth we went to Monroe, trip after trip, and finally the last trip was made.  We picked up some Pad Thai and headed back to Bobwhite for our “Last Supper”.  We loaded up one more time, piling our exhausted crew into the vehicles and headed to Monroe.  Michael’s brother, Todd, helped unload once we got there, and then Michael hurried to return the trailer.  We weren’t able to get all the beds set up before kids needed to crash, so we made enough places for everyone to at least sleep, and we all crashed. 

What a beautiful rest we had Friday night.  The night breezes were cool, and everyone was tired enough to really enjoy a good sleep.

Saturday morning Michael and I woke up early.  I made coffee, and he hurried to the church to do a few last things on the van before it headed out on its youth group trip for the day.  I started working to bring order to the chaos, and when Michael got home he joined me in doing all the little and big things that needed to be done.

On Saturday afternoon I took my older girls and Luke and we went to a special storytelling supper at a conference my parents were hosting.  We had a wonderful time, and Isaac joined us just in time for dessert.  After that was a storytelling concert which the children enjoyed immensely!  

Again we were exhausted and crashed into bed.  This morning, Sunday, we found enough church clothes to get everyone presentable, and we trundled off.  Unfortunately, I could not find Lilly’s bottle anywhere, and Grammy didn’t find it at the Bobwhite house, so after I dropped everyone off at church, I went to purchase a new bottle.  It’s the price for moving, I suppose, and I feel fortunate to get off with only a $5.00 penalty.  

I took a very long nap this afternoon, and have been working to bring order to the kitchen this evening.  Michael went out to get some things from Lowe’s and another load from the Bobwhite house.

One big blessing this weekend has been the food that has been donated to our family several days in a row, thanks to the storytelling conference going on.  Every day as they packed up the leftovers, they offered a majority of it to our family, and we have gratefully accepted.  So we have had bagels and cream cheese and fried chicken and sandwich supplies and yogurt and sodas and juice boxes and bags of chips.  We’re spoiled!

Soon Michael will have his computer system all set up, and then I’ll be able to have my laptop upstairs where it’s more accessible.  Right now it is in the basement, so I’m typing while standing at our “station” where the internet cable comes into the house.  :-)

Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts for us.  We’ve been working very hard and are so glad to be home again with a fresh start.  

This week is full of packing and preparing to move.  We’re planning to move this Friday, the 20th.  During the day I’m working on packing, and then in the evening we’re working at Monroe to prepare for our family and our stuff.  Last night Michael was finally able to start building the shelves in the basement.  The basement room that we’re working on has a nice double-coat of paint on the floor, and it’s getting a double-coat of dry-lock paint on its walls.  It’s amazing how the bright paint makes that room look so much better.

Last night I also finally painted the ceiling in one of the rooms that got overlooked before.  It’s nice to finally have that done.  I also have other painting projects that need my attention, but I really wanted to get the ceiling done before we moved things into that room.

Oh, and the piano is scheduled to be moved tomorrow, and I scheduled a tuning for next week. Michael has sworn off moving pianos any more in his life, so that’s one thing we splurge on hiring someone else to do.

This move is really happening!  I’m quite excited about this next stage in our lives, but it’s a lot of work.  So if I don’t write much here over the next few days, you’ll know what’s going on.  I’m probably busy staring at an empty box wondering what to pack next, or I’m splashing paint all over, or perhaps I’ve crashed into bed  hoping a nap won’t throw off the schedule too badly.

In other news… Judah sees the doctor again tomorrow morning.  I’m hoping we can get his surgery scheduled so we can put this whole “appendix adventure” behind us.  Until the surgery is over, there is a chance of a relapse, so we keep watching him very closely.
That’s all for now!