For the past few years, the folks at my parents’ church have been watching one of their pastors battle cancer.  Several times everyone thought he had won the battle, but eventually the cancer came back and there was nothing more to be done.  After Pastor Ken died, my  mother wrote out a short story to share with Pastor Ken’s family.  When I saw it, I asked her if I might share it with you as well.  May God speak to you through this story.

Pastor Ken’s Chair
by Jan Walsh (April 2006)

It was a year ago at this time that we were gearing up for a concert that Pastor Ken had dreamed of and promoted for many months. His vision was that our choir would learn a whole set of songs by memory. Then we (along with the church orchestra) would be qualified to perform as back-up for the Mike Speck Trio on June 10th.
During our practice sessions, we did our best to fulfill Pastor Ken’s expectations. His battle with cancer had worn him down and he had very little energy. But he gave it his whole effort and each time we kept practicing until he was worn out.
His cycles of feeling better and then feeling worse made all of us wonder if he was going to make it to the concert. His “Plan B” was that if he couldn’t make it, the concert would go on without him. Mike Speck could direct the choir, since all the songs were his arrangements anyway.
The choir members were having difficulty memorizing the words and music, so to make it easier for everyone, Pastor Ken gave us the songs on CD. I took mine home and began playing it while I worked on household chores.  Listening to the songs over and over began transforming my thought processes and making a deep impression on my mind and heart.
I was home working one evening, when one particular song invaded my thoughts. The words were… “It’s all about you, Jesus…And all this is for you, for your glory and your praise… It’s not about me, as if you should do things my way. You alone are God and I surrender to your ways.”  Every time the CD came back to that song I found myself crying out to God, “No! I’m not willing to surrender! Please don’t take Pastor Ken from us. We need him here.”
I don’t know how many times I went through that. Surrendering to God’s will was something I always thought I was pretty good at. But now, it was a different story.  “God, it just isn’t fair!  Pastor Ken has one supreme desire and that is to serve the Lord. Why can’t you just let him stay here with us and do that?”
Soon, we were down to the last Sunday night rehearsal before the Friday night concert. Pastor Ken was having trouble being on his feet directing the choir and orchestra. He asked someone to bring out a tall wooden stool for him to sit on. Even then it took a lot of energy for him to balance himself on it.  After practice, I went to him and asked if he wanted me to shop for a better stool for him, maybe one that had a back on it.  He said, “Oh, no, this one will do. I’ll be fine.”  Nevertheless, I made a mental note of the height of the stool and determined that I would try to find something for him.
Well, my intentions were good, but the week slipped by ever so quickly. I was trying to meet a printing deadline while also helping John prepare to leave town for a five-day conference. Every day I thought I might squeeze in a chance to go shopping, but there was not a single opportunity. It was weighing heavily on my mind. I began feeling discouraged. On Sunday I had so glibly said I would look for something, but I hadn’t even begun!
Finally, it was Thursday mid-morning. John and I were driving to the Bloomington airport where I would see him off. I was thinking about the stool I envisioned for Pastor Ken and asking God what I should do. I thought, “Maybe the Lord has not allowed me the time to shop because He knows that Pastor Ken isn’t going to make it to the concert anyway.”   But I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind and I kept praying that God would guide me and help me do the right thing.
Still, time was running out. By the time I dropped John off, it would be 11:00. I had a 1:00 appointment with someone at my office. Even if I had an hour to shop, I didn’t have any idea where to begin!  Just then I noticed on the left side of the road a place called Creative Kitchens and Baths.  I thought, “I’ll stop there on my way back and see if they have anything.”
When I walked in, I was pretty disappointed. There were a lot of kitchen cabinets, but only one set of kitchen stools, and not at all what I was looking for.
A young man offered to help me and I described to him what I needed – a high stool with a back to lean on. I also wanted it to be black so it would blend in with all the other orchestra things. And it shouldn’t be shiny…no, ideally it would have a dull finish. One more thing, even though it would be made of metal, it couldn’t be too heavy. It had to be easy to carry from one place to another.
The salesman apologized for not having much to offer me, but he said I should go down on Veteran’s Parkway to Altman’s Billards and Bar Stools.  I had never even heard of the place, but he told me how to recognize it, so I headed that direction.
I found it with no trouble and made my way up to the second floor as he had directed me. There was a huge room full of all kinds of tables and chairs. I quickly scanned the entire showroom. Immediately I saw it, in the farthest corner of the room. A perfect black chair with not only a back, but “arms” as well.  I made my way over to it and, as I came  closer, I could see its beautiful dull finish. Now for the final test…I reached out my hands and picked it up…easily!
Since I was the only customer in the store at that point, it didn’t take long to complete the transaction and let the salesman put the chair into the back seat of my car.  It was almost 12 o’clock. I decided to drive straight to the church and deliver the chair.  But on the way I began to wonder, what if the front door of the church was locked? If I went to the back door, sure I could carry the chair, but it would be awkward to open the door and get it inside by myself. I mulled over what I would do. It would be different if I wasn’t in a hurry, but I had that 1:00 appointment. Still I thought I could make it somehow.
As I rounded the corner and came to the driveway of the church, what should I see but a pickup truck in the circle drive and there to my joy and amazement was Jim Anderson! He came over to my car and offered to help me. I showed him the chair and he lifted it out of the back seat and carried it into the church.
I headed on to my office totally in awe over the events of the last hour!  I kept wondering, “How did God do it? How did He make sure the exact chair I envisioned was in the right place at the right time…the ONLY time I had to go there?
How did He make sure the salesman at the first store knew exactly where to send me? At what factory was the chair manufactured and how were the arrangements made to send it to a certain store in Bloomington so it would be there when Pastor Ken needed it?  How did God make sure that Jim Anderson was at the church ready to help me just at the moment I drove up unannounced? Furthermore, why did all this matter to God? Surely He had other much more important issues to take care of than my search for the perfect chair. What was God trying to say to me?
I suddenly knew beyond the shadow of a doubt what He was trying to tell me.  He showed me with an object lesson, that He is aware of every single detail in our lives. He is keeping track of when we need something and He will make sure it is there for us. He did not forget my request. He was not too busy to help. He was not late. He did everything just perfectly. And, most of all He cared!  I thought He wasn’t listening, but He was!
The long-awaited concert was great. But I have to say, the best part for me was seeing Pastor Ken using the director’s chair that God had created just for him!  Over the next few months, he had several opportunities to use his special chair. The last big event was the Christmas Concert of 2005.
I feel so privileged that God would choose me to be the one to go pick up the chair. Why me? He must have known how much my faith was wavering. I really needed that demonstration of His care and control. He was working to turn my questioning heart into a surrendered heart.
Surrendering my will to God’s way is still a challenge. A few weeks ago, God took Pastor Ken to his heavenly home. How much we miss him! I can’t understand why God would take him away from us. But I know God loves us and is aware of every single need in our lives.
I have never gotten over the wonder of Pastor Ken’s chair. Every time I see it I feel God reminding me, “I care. I’m handling everything. Trust me with every detail.”