My Apologies
The last few days I’ve had more guests in my home than usual. That means that I’ve been keeping things a little more picked up than usual too! But even though I’ve put extra effort into making our home look a little more tidy, I still have a long way to go before anyone would ever declare me a good housekeeper.
Yesterday, as I was hurrying around picking things up and trying to at least clear a spot on the couch, I was rehearsing in my mind the excuses and apologies I would use when my guest arrived.
“Welcome to our construction zone!”
“I’m sorry for the clutter. I know you’re such a good housekeeper!”
“I always feel intimidated when you come over to visit, since you keep such a clean house.”
“You know, with the building project going on, it’s hard to keep things clean around here.”
“I’m sorry things aren’t as picked up as I would like them to be.”
…and then there’s that old line that the visiting gospel singing group might use right before they sing… “Ya’ll pray for us now, we ain’t practiced much!”
Then I realized how each of these excuses and apologies would sound to my guest. What I would really be saying is this:
“You make me uncomfortable.”
“I wish you hadn’t come over today.”
“When we have a building project going on, God doesn’t give me the gift of hospitality.”
“I need you to compliment me so I won’t feel so insecure.”
Is that really what I wanted to communicate to my guest??? Of course not! So I grabbed myself by the shoulders and gave myself a firm shake. Then I used a very stern voice and made myself promise that I would NOT give one single apology or excuse for anything. Not one. Nope, not even a tiny one. I would simply do what I could do to make my home look welcoming, and then I would greet my guest with a relaxed smile and offer my hospitality to her and her children.
And do you know what? We had a wonderful time! My guest seemed to be completely at ease in our home. I served popcorn and iced tea for a snack. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. We showed off our little of six-week-old Siamese kittens. We talked about remodeling. I got her opinion on whether to paint my cabinets or keep them wood-colored. Our conversation wandered from one topic to another. My baby dozed in my arms; something he almost never does! The children went out into the back yard and had a marvellous time jumping on the trampoline, examining our dirt pit and picking red raspberries. By the time they left, I felt so refreshed from our delightful visit.
So the next time you’re tempted to make apologies for your housekeeping or your cooking or any other thing, first ask yourself exactly what your motivation is for those apologies. And then try skipping the apologies. You’ll be glad you did.
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