As I stated in my post this morning, we enjoyed a nice breakfast and had hopes for a pleasant, relaxing day. Please allow me to report that we were able to accomplish our goals, and that we did indeed have a wonderful day.

My mother’s older sister, Christine, came to the motel room to pick up my mother so they could go visit their father. About the time they left, Laura and Isaac were ready to head to the pool, so I said goodbye to my mother and followed the pool gang. As I sat by the pool watching Laura and Isaac play, I was able to read and think and enjoy the solitude. But after a while I was feeling so sleepy that I finally declared an end to pool time. The children were reluctant to leave, but to their credit, they obeyed without complaining. We went back to the room, they changed out of their wet suits, and I told them they could watch Animal Planet on tv while I took a nap. They were happy to do that, and they woke me up at 1 pm like I asked them to.

I was still so drowsy, but I knew I didn’t want to sleep the day away, so Laura very cheerfully ran to the motel lobby to grab a cup of mocha from the fancy coffee machine there. That really helped me wake up nicely, so then we pulled ourselves together and headed out to explore, shop, and have lunch. Thanks to the very helpful man at the motel desk, we were armed with a detailed map of Traverse City.

While we were out we found Petoskey stones, a store devoted to Michigan cherries, a wonderful local BBQ/smoked-meat sandwich place, and the Army-Navy surplus store. Our final stop was to run into the local JoAnn Fabric store to look at their bead selection. This store is at least 3-4 times the size of our Bloomington JoAnn’s, so there was a lot to see that we hadn’t seen before. (I’m sure Michael will be glad to hear that we only spent $10 there. ☺ )

When we got back to the motel, the children hurried to get into their swimsuits so they could head to the pool again. My mother was just waking up from a nap, so while the children swam, she and I visited and compared stories about our day thus far.

At 5 pm we got ready to head to the nursing home to see my grandfather. My mother wanted to have supper with him there, so we were looking forward to having a nice long visit.

When we arrived, Grandpa was near the front desk in his wheelchair. I’m not sure if he was watching for us, or if he is usually out and about. Anyway, we hugged him and made sure he knew who we were. Ever since his stroke, it’s been hard for him to remember who is who, so we introduced ourselves again and tried to help him connect faces with names. During the time we were there, he did refer to “your mother”, so I think he understood the relationship between me and my mother. I don’t know if he ever really remembered Laura and Isaac, but that’s ok. He seemed interested in things they said and did, so that was enough for me.

The nursing-home staff was very cordial to us, and they seemed to go out of their way to make us feel welcome. They invited us to have our supper at a table in the activity room so that we could have a quieter, more private setting for our meal. I was a little worried about Grandpa, because he seemed very confused about us eating in a room that was not the dining room. But my mother just kept reminding him that “the person in charge” had offered that we could eat there, and that we would still be served supper. At one point I asked him if he liked the food there (referring to the nursing home), and he responded, “I don’t know. I’ve never eaten at this place before” (referring to the activity room). But then later on we had a conversation about the activity room and the fact that he hadn’t spent much time in there before. I’m hoping that perhaps our extended time in the activity room will encourage him in the future to take advantage of what is offered.

Based on e-mails I’ve read from other family members about my grandfather’s health and abilities, I felt that our visit with him was probably one of the best we could have had. He seemed alert the whole time, he seemed to hear everything we said, he ate almost all of the food he was served (and even half of the fish that Laura couldn’t eat), he did everything for himself, and he told stories from his time in the Navy. I tried to ask him questions that might encourage him to tell stories, and then I enjoyed hearing his memories. The kids kept occupied by teasing the cockatiel in a cage in that room, stringing beads, and working on jigsaw puzzles. They were really well-behaved, and I was so grateful for that. After supper there was a reading time in the activity room, and Grandpa seemed to follow along with the story completely. At various points of the story he chuckled or made an affirming sound showing his comprehension of the wartime memories being read.

Still in all, it was hard to see my grandfather as a frail old man, when I remember how capable he was before. But even in the frailty, I could see glimpses of the grandpa I remember, and I enjoyed that. He still has a sense of humor, and he still knows how to smile and laugh.

After we took a peek at his room, we said farewell. He saw us to the main door and again I saw my former grandpa, making sure the exit door closed properly and giving a little wave as we walked out.

I had a few thoughts during our visit that I want to share.
1. Even though we are often defined by our possessions, we shouldn’t let our possessions be overly important to us. My grandfather is in a small room with only a few things nearby. This is the same man who has a garage of carefully organized tools, machines and gadgets. I still remember the smell of his garage and workshop. As I stood in his bare room, I thought all of my “stuff” that I care about and defend and am selfish with. I wonder, someday, when I’m in a nursing home with none of my stuff, if I’ll wish I’d been just a bit more generous and less defensive about my things.
2. When you see a person who is old and frail, realize that they used to have a lot more dignity, and they deserve a kind word and respectful treatment. That’s hard for me, because I’m intimidated and unsure around people different from me. One of the best examples I see on a regular basis is my friend Janie who is so loving and kind, especially to her friends with Down Syndrome.

So anyway, that’s enough of the sober thoughts. We left the nursing home, took the scenic route home (thanks to my very poor sense of direction), and once we got to the motel, the children hightailed it to the pool again. But tonight they have a 10 pm bedtime. No more of that silliness of staying up until 1 am! I think they’ll sleep well tonight, after a busy day and three trips to the pool. ☺

Tomorrow we’re looking forward to another pleasant day like today. ☺ Stay tuned for another update tomorrow night.
Love, Christie