Our family has been on a roller-coaster ride since last Saturday. I think the ride is over, but we’re still shaken. Here are some e-mails that we sent out as the week went by.

First I wrote this:

Some of you know, and some of you don’t… but today we got a visit from the DCFS regarding potential neglect and abuse of our children. Apparently a neighbor called in a report that we allow our children to play in the street, play with knives and play with “dangerous power tools”.

The DCFS lady talked to each of the children and to Michael and me, gathering information for her report. To add insult to injury, the children were quite grubby, thanks to a long day of work yesterday at the Monroe house, and thanks to the fact that I didn’t bathe them before bed last night. So grubby kids chatted with a suspicious DCFS lady, and Michael and I don’t know what on earth she’s going to do about THAT.

Anyway, she gathered her information and let us know that we’d be getting yet another visit sometime next week from another worker. Apparently this lady is only the “on call” person for the weekend, and we’ll be visited by our official caseworker during regular business hours.

Unfortunately, the accusations leveled against us are completely true. Since we live on a short dead-end street, we DO allow the children to play and ride bikes in the street. And we have let Isaac have pocket knives for a long time. And Isaac (and the other kids) use Michael’s tools for projects and building things. So we couldn’t even deny the charges.

On top of everything else, we found out that technically we aren’t supposed to leave any children home alone or home babysitting other children until they are 14 years old. The DCFS is willing to overlook that age limit, but they aren’t willing to go below about 12 years old. So that means we’ve been in violation of their expectations any time we’ve left any kids younger than Laura home alone. (These guidelines are contrary to what we have been told previously, which was that kids are allowed to be home alone at their parents’ discretion.)

Michael and I are rather stressed out, and we’re trying to figure out how we should respond to this whole thing. We are trying not to be angry at nosey neighbors, trying not to satisfy the urge to just move back to our Monroe house, and instead recognize this whole circumstance as something from the hand of God. We want to learn what He wants us to learn. But at the same time, we are going to have to change what we let the children do while we’re here at the Bobwhite house. No more playing in the front yard or on the street in front of the house. No more power tools. And on top of all that, no more letting the children experience any sort of independence or freedom or trust. We have to take them everywhere with us and can never leave them for any peace and quiet at home.

We appreciate your thoughts and prayers. We will keep you posted on “the rest of the story” as it develops.

Sincerely,
Christie

Then I wrote this short update:

We received a call from the DCFS representative this afternoon asking when she can meet with our family. We agreed on Thursday morning at 10:30 a.m.

What a relief to have an appointment set! No more feeling jumpy every moment wondering when our next surprise visit is coming.

We have no idea what the next meeting will hold, but we are hopeful that it will go well.

Thank you for your concern and prayers for our family.

Sincerely,
Christie

And finally Michael wrote this wrap-up report:

We just finished our second visit with a DCFS case worker.

Debby was very nice and spent about an hour talking with us and the
kids. The children chattered quite cheerfully, and even picked
flowers from their flower pots to give to her.

Unfortunately, our visit could not be all pleasant, so Debby
reiterated the accusations that were called in.

1) Lack of supervision of Judah playing in the street
2) Lack of supervision of Isaac while using power-tools

(All other issues, such as homeschooling or how often kids get baths
are not covered under the DCFS jurisdiction unless there is evidence
of illness or neglect, which is not the case with us.)

Even though Debby was very nice about everything, she did say that
most likely, after discussing the situation with her supervisor, they
would have to “indicate” us on the two charges. That simply means
that our record will be kept on file for the next five years, and
then it will be dropped. The only way that record will be anyone’s
business is if we apply for a job having to do with children.
Apparently those types of institutions do request DCFS records when
considering someone for employment.

Some of Debby’s advice to us included that we should get to know our
neighbors. She said that she found our family to be quite nice and
interesting, and that most likely the neighbors would find the same
thing once they got to know us. She reminded us that people fear the
unknown and are much more likely to be suspicious of people they
don’t know.

Debby also suggested that we consider training our children what
society will expect of them when they are not in such a sheltered,
homeschooling situation and that the habits they are forming now will
be hard to change later when they are out in the real-world.

Now we wait, for possibly up to 60 days, to hear what the final
report is. We will get a call from Debby as well as an official
letter stating the findings.

As Debby was leaving, Miguel called out in a cheery voice, “Good-
bye!” Judah echoed, “Good-bye!” Then Miguel called out his final
warning, loud and clear, “Watch out for pirates!!!” Debby stopped
and turned around and asked Miguel, “Oh! Are there pirates around
here?” Miguel said that yes, and in fact, she should watch out for
pirates everywhere! She assured him that she would be very careful,
and then she was gone.

We are exhausted. We are emotionally drained. But it sure could
have been a lot worse.

Thanks for your prayers and concerns.

“Watch out for Pirates!!!”

Michael (for Christie and the family)